Having a number of chums in New Orleans, I am pleased to say that they are all ok and evacuated safely to Texas (Texas? ok). They are planning on being back on Weds, so we'll hear about the damage then. I sure hope everything isn't too damaged and that the worst of it didn't hit them straight on but a bit east. Usually NOLAians laugh at hurricanes and have a party.
Running away to Texas <> party
This deserves a haiku:
Making her landfall
Katrina stumbles in drunk
Hurricanes taste good
Monday, August 29, 2005
how to drink gin
Spent a weekend a while ago with some friends visiting from out of town. Some of the more memorable quotes:
R on his prescription antibiotics label:
"It says here 'May cause drowsiness'. What it should say is 'Don't make any goddamned plans'."
M in the midst of telling a story about getting arrested for a DUI after driving home through town and running all the stop signs and lights on the way to her house. As the cops pull up behind her, she's all friendlydrunk then as she realizes she's getting busted, she's 0 to superpissed in 2 seconds:
"And I'm sitting in the front of his [police] car, and I'm seeing all this electronic stuff, and I'm thinking to myself [vengefully] 'I'm not feeling so good!'"
M calling R from our house to explain what we've been doing while he's been working:
"I've been drinking gin and I am still drinking gin, but it's in orange juice and I can't taste it, so that's good and I'm pretty happy with that."
R on his prescription antibiotics label:
"It says here 'May cause drowsiness'. What it should say is 'Don't make any goddamned plans'."
M in the midst of telling a story about getting arrested for a DUI after driving home through town and running all the stop signs and lights on the way to her house. As the cops pull up behind her, she's all friendlydrunk then as she realizes she's getting busted, she's 0 to superpissed in 2 seconds:
"And I'm sitting in the front of his [police] car, and I'm seeing all this electronic stuff, and I'm thinking to myself [vengefully] 'I'm not feeling so good!'"
M calling R from our house to explain what we've been doing while he's been working:
"I've been drinking gin and I am still drinking gin, but it's in orange juice and I can't taste it, so that's good and I'm pretty happy with that."
Friday, August 26, 2005
How to improve the Midwest US
i had a job recruiter call me today. i recently revamped my resume and reposted it on monster.com and dice.com, as we constantly one eye open technical people tend to do, and everytime you renew, you get a spate of calls from headhunters wanting to cram your square peg into the round hole opportunity they have open that day. Don't know COBOL and it died out 10 years ago? I have a GREAT position for you programming in COBOL! In Kurdestan! For less than you are making now!
Anyhow, this poor sod made it clear pretty immediately that he hadn't actually READ my resume or understood it, but just had skimmed it and decided to call, so I thought i'd toy with him.
(after making it clear that the opportunity he had in mind was doing something i dont' want to do in a place i don't want to do it and after telling him we want out of the midwest entirely)
The absolute funniest part is that he called my man, who is also posting his resume, you know, since we're moving and he's gonna need a new job, asking the same questions. What'd my man say? "I believe you spoke to my wife earlier about relocating to Omaha..."
It's possible he could hear me laughing in the background. :)
Attention recruiters: that's what you get for not bothering to read the resume I posted or for not understanding the words in it. I worked real hard on that resume, calling me up and offering me things i clearly stated i don't want or don't know how to do is just going to result in pain. For you.
Anyhow, this poor sod made it clear pretty immediately that he hadn't actually READ my resume or understood it, but just had skimmed it and decided to call, so I thought i'd toy with him.
(after making it clear that the opportunity he had in mind was doing something i dont' want to do in a place i don't want to do it and after telling him we want out of the midwest entirely)
recruiter: i'd like to see if you can come in one day next week so we can meet and i can get a better idea of what you are looking for and we can do some skills assessments. me: That's going to be tough for me to accomodate. I am not in Omaha, and would have to take at least half a day off work to do that. recruiter: (sounding surprised) where are you at? me: i live and work in Sioux City, Iowa. (my address is clearly noted on my resume, and my resume is not marked as confidential. furthermore, he didn't realize he was dialing long distance when he called me? HELLO!) recruiter: oh, that's going to be more difficult then. The opportunity i have is in Omaha (NE). me: yeah...? recruiter: what sort of compensation can you think of, other than a salary increase, that would incent you to relocate to Omaha for this opportunity? me: well, i think installing an ocean and adjusting the climate to something tolerable would be a good start. then we can talk about relocating most of my friends and family. recruiter: ummmmm...... |
It's possible he could hear me laughing in the background. :)
Attention recruiters: that's what you get for not bothering to read the resume I posted or for not understanding the words in it. I worked real hard on that resume, calling me up and offering me things i clearly stated i don't want or don't know how to do is just going to result in pain. For you.
The War Against TARE
you must watch all three:
http://www.thetoiletonline.com/leaveit.htm
Do not watch them at work unless your work doesn't mind words like "passionate butt sex" and "fuckhead" coming from your computer. Or at least turn the speakers down.
http://www.thetoiletonline.com/leaveit.htm
Do not watch them at work unless your work doesn't mind words like "passionate butt sex" and "fuckhead" coming from your computer. Or at least turn the speakers down.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Cameraphones suck
When i first got my cameraphone, i was thinking it would be awesome. What i didn't realize is that pretty much everything funny i want to take photos of needs a zoom. Does my cameraphone have a zoom? hellno.
What happened to my real digicam, you ask? Suffice it to say that I will never buy another Fujifilm camera again. It broke. Again. And now that it's fully out of warranty, it would be cheaper to replace it than to fix it.
So anyhow, the reason i feel like bitching about this is because i saw the greatest dumbass sticker on a car yesterday, and couldn't get a photo of it to prove it.
(in the classic HD logo layout, but some dinkus must have done this themselves)
Harley Davidson Motorcycles
Born to be riden
It filled the back window of the car: a shitty old Pontiac LeSabre, blue.
If you don't see the problem with this, go beat your head on the wall 200 times and call me in the morning.
What happened to my real digicam, you ask? Suffice it to say that I will never buy another Fujifilm camera again. It broke. Again. And now that it's fully out of warranty, it would be cheaper to replace it than to fix it.
So anyhow, the reason i feel like bitching about this is because i saw the greatest dumbass sticker on a car yesterday, and couldn't get a photo of it to prove it.
(in the classic HD logo layout, but some dinkus must have done this themselves)
Harley Davidson Motorcycles
Born to be riden
It filled the back window of the car: a shitty old Pontiac LeSabre, blue.
If you don't see the problem with this, go beat your head on the wall 200 times and call me in the morning.
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