Dear Enterprise Car Rental Company,



My mother, [name omitted], rented a car in Springfield, MO from your company on January 19, 2003. When the car was brought around for her pickup, she commented that it was odd that the car hadn't even been washed. The Enterprise employee just shrugged at her comment.



After driving a while, my mother used the brakes for the first time. They didn't work! There was a terrible screeching noise and the car did not slow down or stop as expected. She drove slowly to the nearest safe area and called your company regarding the problem.



She was told 1) that the previous renter of the car, who had turned in the car that morning, hadn't mentioned anything wrong with the brakes, but 2) she could drive the car over to the nearest Enterprise branch and they would exchange it for her.



Do you see anything wrong with this story? Not only did you knowingly give my mother an uninspected, faulty, unsafe vehicle, but then a representative of your company asked her to continue to drive that unsafe vehicle. Would you want YOUR mother driving a car with no brakes? I think not.



I can't imagine what excuse this person could come up with for their depraved treatment of my mother as a customer AND a person, but for my own satisfaction, I would request that this matter is investigated and remedied. Enterprise should not be allowed to endanger the lives of their customers and other drivers with their complete incompetence and total indifference.



Sincerely,



[omitted]

Dear Person Who Tried to Use my Stolen Visa/ATM Card Number to Set Up Cable Service with Time Warner Cable in Minneapolis,



You are the perfect example of why most criminals get caught. You are too stupid for words.



Did it not occur to you that installing cable requires an ADDRESS on the account? You know, the cable guy needs to be able to show up somewhere to turn the shit on for you, genius. And you would want him to come to your real house so you could watch WWE on TNT, right?



I guess they will never be able to find out who used my card now, dang. Oh wait, here's an idea: How about the cops just come to your fucking house and ask you about it?



Retard. Your mother should have pinched your head off when you were born.



Another thing you probably didn't consider: the penalties for credit card fraud are much higher than those for rooking cable service from your neighbor.



Duh. Seriously. Just kill yourself. Please.