Why do telemarketers choose to be so stupid?

First of all, let me say this: I do not hate all telemarketers. I do not think they are evil. I do not think they are all stupid. Which is why I entitled this post with "choose to be so stupid" because it must be a choice.

Secondly, let me say that I work for a company who sometimes provides leads to telemarketers. I suppose if I thought they were evil, that would make me a collaborator to evil, which I may very well be at times, but I don't think so in this situation. Evil should be more fun than where I work. Anyhow, as a part of what I do, I regularly submit "test leads" to our clients, some of which invariably end up at the call center, despite being marked as tests.

Some examples of chosen telemarketing stupidity:

I received a call last week for the "Testonly" family.

A female telemarketer called wanting to speak to "Test Donotcall".

I regularly receive mail for "Hoser Slutskaya" "Test Tester" "Testy Testaroni" and the like.

Now I'm thinking if these people bothered to take 3 seconds to read the words that would be imminently coming out of their mouths, they would have maybe noticed they were BOGUS? It just scares me that that's the kind of concern and care being taken with personal information. It's just stupid.

I'm going to start submitting test leads with names like "Ima Retard" and "Kay Cole" and "Whatchootalkinbout Willis". Those should be fun phone calls. If you have non-vulgar suggestions for me to use, please leave them as comments and I'll be happy to report back how hard I laugh when I get a credit card offer for "Mr. Seymour Butz".

P.S. Yoga is going ummm ok I guess. I think it's going to take more than 8 classes to get me over my Calvinist tendencies. :(

Don't Try Hard, Try Easy

So i have this problem with being innately Protestant.

Am I saying i am a religious zealot? No, but i suppose if i was religious, i'd be a zealot. I'm talking about the "Protestant work ethic" that somehow got instilled in me without me knowing. You know it: If it isn't hard, it isn't worthwhile. Hard work will get you where you want to go. Your value is determined by how hard you work. You must prove your worth by working hard.

This is what i am talking about:

RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD IN ONE MINUTE*
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before.
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?
Buddhism: When Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?
Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit Happens."
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens On Saturdays.
Protestanism: Shit Won't Happen If I Work Harder. (see?)
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."
Unitarian: What Is This Shit?
Mormon: Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.
Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always Happen To Us?
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit.
Southern Baptist: Send Us Money And Shit Won't Happen.
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens.
Atheism: There is no shit.

*i borrowed this from somewhere else, i did not write it. don't send me complaints.


So anyhow, the reason i bring this up is because i am embarking on a plan to work less. Yes, you heard me, i am going to cultivate some slacking. For example, this morning, i took my laptop computer back to bed with me, worked for about an hour and then napped for another hour.

BAD!!!

It was kinda refreshing tho. And nobody knew or cared except me. So what's the harm?

Also, starting next week, i am going back to yoga class, but instead of kickass ashtangapowerhothard yoga, i am doing beginner hatha yoga with the idea that i now have at least two hours per week scheduled to do something EASY.

it's strange how worried i am that i will be able to do something easy. i'll keep ya posted.

to my friends and the President

to my friends from New Orleans:

I am worried about you. Please get ahold of me. You can come stay here as long as you like. I pray you are safe. Please call me or email me!


to the President of the United States:

Which is more important: our problems here at home, or somebody else's problems far away? That's right, bring some troops home from Iraq so we have the resources available to get NOLA cleaned up.